Kissing Culture.

Coming from a conservative country like India, writing an article on Public Kissing has been quite challenging and at the same time interesting for me. Though we are in the 21st century, many countries in Asia still look down upon kissing in public and are often uncomfortable discussing about it unlike the Western Countries. Having said that,while surfing the net for my blog, I was shocked to read the news in the Telegraph dated 17 February 2009 that Kissing is banned in the railway stations of United Kingdom. Take a look at this video.

In the video, Colin Daniels, chief executive of the Warrington Chambers of Commerce talks about the need of enforcing 'Kissing ' and ' Non Kissing' zones at the railway station. It seems that the station has become 'increasingly busy' after the introduction of Pendolino trains from London to Glasgow and Super voyager trains between Bringham and Scotland. In order to avoid traffic congestion and ensure smooth flow of commuters, the necessary action has been taken as kissing in station holds up a lot of commuters by distracting them. However, the public hasn't accepted this proposal with open arms as they find the whole issue silly. Some reactions from the public are, 'IT IS RIDICULOUS' and 'KISS WHERE YOU WANT TO'.For more information click on the link.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4638304/Kissing-banned-at-railway-station.html

I am not amazed by the reactions of the public as kissing in public places is quite common in the western countries and a part of their culture. It is very natural for them to react in this way.Here are pictures of some eminent personalities kissing in public.

Nicolas Sarkozy (French President) with his girlfriend Carla in left.

Sarah and Gordon Brown ( Britain Prime minister) in the right

U.S President Barack Obama with wife Michelle.

On the contrary, here is a picture of Richard Gere(Hollywood Actor) and Shilpa Shetty(Bollywood Actress) that created a huge controversy in India.

At the AIDS awareness programme.

In Asian countries like India, Pakistan, Japan and The Middle east public display of affection is considered to be obscene or a taboo. Let me cite some instances to emphasize my point.

1.A drunken Italian tourist has been fined more than $3,000 (£1,566) for hugging and kissing a woman in public in the United Arab Emirates.

2.Police arrested the couple - a 28-year-old man and a 23-year-old woman - for kissing near a station in India.

3.The average western couple travelling in Indonesia could be looking at jail-time if they kiss each other in public

This brings me to the concepts learned this week.Culture plays a vital role in Communication. Due to culture differences, people find it difficult to adapt themselves in new places. A person from India might get a Culture shock,"the anxiety that results from losing all of our familiar signs and symbols of social intercourse"(Thinking Through Communication-Sarah Trenholm) in Canada if she sees people openly kissing on streets as he/she isn't exposed to it. Again people are governed with stereotypes and prejudices. Example of a stereotype would be, if we have decided that all the people in the West kiss openly in the streets just to seek attention, we stop judging people objectively. Prejudices are a type of stereotypes where we form negative opinions about others. For example in Western countries, kissing your loved ones openly on streets ,while greeting them or seeing them off is considered pretty normal ,but in Asain countires , it is still considered as an obscene and an attention seeking act. So we should take care about different types of culture and subculture while communicating.

Now,coming back to the ban, the officials have adopted a collectivist approach where they give imporatance to the community's peace and harmony rather than individual preferences.So do you think the the authorities have done the right thing by introducing this ban?I personally feel ,after giving liberty to the people from the very beginning and restricting them later is not justified.Do let me know your views. I am sure it will differ.

Group work - More 'we go' and less 'ego' or the other way round?

This week, I have learned about some interesting concepts in the class. Nowadays a lot of emphasis is given on group work in schools and colleges so as to give the students an insight of the reality. Group work is indeed important as it it helps us to share our perspectives and use one another's ideas as springboards. It also helps us to adapt ourselves with people of different temperament and nature. In fact, at times group work is more effective as complex tasks can be worked out due to group synergy ( groups are more effective than the best individuals within them, Thinking Through Communication- Sarah Trenholm).

Today I came across an article on the Band Girls Aloud. The band bagged their first BRIT award which was a huge success for them.

The members of Girls Aloud at the BRIT function. Cheryl Cole in the extreme right.

The band was celebrating their success and were on cloud nine when things took a drastic turn as Cheryl Cole stormed out of the interview. Supposedly a reporter asked Cheryl about her solo plans immediately after they received the award. This seemed to have offended her and she became furious on the journalist. For more details click on the following link.

http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/articles/2009/02/19/cheryl_coles_solo_quiz_upset/

Cheryl Cole's reaction was pretty genuine and anyone would have reacted that way. So now lets discuss some concepts related to this article.

A group
is a collection of individuals who as a result of interacting with each other over time, become interdependent developing shared patterns of behavior and a collective identity (Thinking Through Communication - Sarah Trenholm). There are many reasons why people choose to groups over individual performance. In the Music industry, we see a lot of groups or bands as groups provide more input than the individuals. Here is a look at some other music bands.

Linkin Park!!!(One of my favorites)

Metallica.

Pakistani Band Jal.

The above bands have been very successful and are loved by a lot of people. According to the communication concepts, groups are better than individuals due to a lot of reasons. Firstly,
group synergy is an important reason for the groups to do well as I have discussed before . Secondly they provide support and commitment. For example in a band, there is a vocalist, guitarist and a drummer . When they compose a lot of songs each one of them does their bit, saving time and energy. In the end they combine their efforts and come up with a good song. This shows that by sharing the workload, groups offer encouragement and support. Next, groups can also satisfy affection needs. The members of the band are well bonded with each other. Hence, the group members can satisfy their needs of receiving affection as well as share their feelings with one another.

Although groups have a lot of benefits, there have been cases where individuals perform better than groups. Here are some singers who were part of a band but split up due to confilcts.

Justin Timberlake was a part of the band N Sync.

Ronan Keatings was a part of Boyzone.

Beyonce was a member of Destiny's Child.

However groups do face a lot of problems due to conlflict of interests. This happens when the members think that their contribution is not being taken into account.At times group memebers blame one another for splitting up; Justin Timberlake was held responsible by his members for the split up due to his affair with Britney Spears. Furthermore members lack commitment with each other and have conflicting goals. This leads to the dissolution to the group.

So the question of the day. Do you feel Groups are more effective than individuals? Is group work less 'ego' or more 'we go' or the other way round?

I personally feel that both have their advantages and disadvantages. I don't have much experince of group work. So I used to prefer individual performance. But at times , groups are beneficial in many ways. Now I am working on a project and feel that group work indeed helps even though there are some conflicts between the members(it is a part and parcel of group work). I know your comments might differ. Waiting to read them!

Love is blind..................Interpersonal Communication

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you come across the word 'LOVE'? Friendship,trust, commitment, ecstasy, happiness are some other adjectives that will come to your mind. This post is related to an article that I stumbled upon while reading the Straits Times, Singapore on Valentine's Day which kept me pondering for a while.

The above article is based on a couple, where the wife stood by her husband despite him being a drug addict, a criminal and an HIV patient. If you are wondering how is this related to my communication concept , read more to find out.

Joanne and Sam(not real names) have been together for eleven years, the last four years as a married couple. Their story falls under interpersonal communication where we form close relationship with people who affirm our identities and abilities and who see the world as we do.(Thinking Through Communication- Sarah Trenholm). Mark L. Knapp's Relational Development Model describes the progression and development of a relationship.There are ten stages,first five of coming together and the next five of coming apart which can be explained with context to this news article.Lets discuss them

Joanne met Sam in the hospital through his sister,who was her colleague, in 1998.This is the INITIATING STAGE where we find an opportunity to meet the person and create a favorable impression. After their first meeting, Joanne felt sorry for him and began visiting him regularly.This is known as the EXPERIMENTING STAGE where the partners search for a common ground to reveal their personalities and reduce their uncertainties about each other.Then they kept their friendship for several months till he was discharged which moves to the INTENSIFYING STAGE where familiarity of each other's verbal and non-verbal styles increases. For example Sam used to cycle everyday from her home to the MRT( mass rapid transit) station and surprised Joanne on her birthday.Physical contact is also seen in this stage. Suddenly one day while walking to the station, Sam proposed Joanne and she decided to go ahead with the relationship.This is called the INTEGRATING STAGE where the individuals become a couple in their own and other's eyes as well as merge their social circles.Finally they got married in 2005 and officially legitimized their relationship.This is the BONDING STAGE where couples bond through marriage and formalize their commitment.These were the five stages of coming together where the partners expand the boundaries of their relationship.

(An excerpt from the article)

Next we move on to the stages of coming apart.Like any other relationship, this one also went through some bad patches. There were times where Joanne thought of walking out of the relationship as there were a lot of conflicts between them due to Sam's possessive nature and his drug use.This is somewhere between DIFFERENTIATING STAGE and TERMINATING STAGE when the partners indulge into conflicts in the former and think to dissolve the relationship. In between these two stages there are three more stages.In CIRCUMSCRIBING STAGE the partners restrict their communication where as in STAGNATING STAGE is characterized by silence and inactivity where the individuals are over formal and do not speak for months.Lastly in the AVOIDING STAGE partners separate either physically or emotionally.

It is very commendable that despite all the differences and conflicts, the couple is very committed and is going strong. Joanne thinks that Sam has changed for the better and will not break her trust.Here is a message from Joanne to Sam " Despite all our problems, I still love you with all my heart, soul and body."

I am very sure that most of you must have identified with the story as you must have been in a relationship or are in one with good and bad patches. Even if you haven't been in one, the story must have appealed to you.This brings me to my question.What qualities would you look for in your ideal man/woman?If you were in Joanne's place,would you continue your relationship with Sam?Let us rephrase it a bit.Did Joanne do the right thing?I personally wouldn't get into a relationship with a person like Sam but at the same time I salute Joanne's commitment with Sam.I know your comments might differ.Waiting eagerly to read them.

Nonverbal Cues in Miley Jab Hum Tum

This is going to be a very interesting topic for me as I will be discussing concepts related to my favorite television program.Any 'Miley Jab Hum Tum'(When we Met) fans out here?This serial is aired on the channel Star One and has been gaining popularity among the youngsters in India.The show revolves around the six main characters who try to fit in the college crowd.It is a journey of their insecurities,worries,achievements etc with love being the central theme of the plot.For those who don't follow the show, it doesn't matter as the concepts have nothing to do with the the story but a short video clip from an episode which was aired on 29th January 2009. The above picture shows the star cast of show.The name of the characters from left to right are Dodo,Nupur,Mayank,Gunjan,Samrat and Dia.

The watermark appears due to some technical problem.Sorry for the inconvenience caused.If you want to have a better view then click on the following link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D28vixKbOyM

Non verbal cues allow us to refine or expand on verbal meanings(Thinking Through Communication- Sarah Trenholm). They are broadly categorised into eight types.So lets begin spotting the cues in the clip.

KINESICS(Study of Body Movement and Gestures).In the beginning of the clip when CJ(the girl in white top and brown pants) talks to Mayank(in the check shirt), she makes a lot use of her hands and facial expressions..These are known as Regulators which allows one to maintain,request or deny others to talk.Then in between when the girl in a blue dress is caught lying by Gunjan(in the pink salwar),you can see some guilt, anxiety and excitement on her face as well on Samrat's( in black and green shirt) face.This falls under Affect Displays which convey emotional states.Next comes PARALINGUISTIC(Study of Vocal Behavior).In the staff room when Mayank and Nupur(in the purple salwar) are in an argument, the professor interrupts them by shouting 'Enough'.This is known as Vocal qualities(changes in pitch,tone etc) in which we make judgements like the professor is angry or irritated.Again when the girl in blue lies to Gunjan,there is a sudden silence and Gunjan walks away.The interpretation is that she doesn't want to continue with the conversation.Silence is also a part of Paralinguistic which is often overlooked.

The third one is HAPTICS( study of touch).In one scene Samrats puts his hands over Benji(in the purple shirt with white stripes) while talking about Gunjan . Dodo(in the white shirt) also does the same in the canteen.This shows the affection and intimacy between them as friends.Then comes PROXEMICS(Study of space).During the clip you must have seen some people standing or sitting close to one another and some moving away when a person comes close to them.This is called Personal space which shows how close we prefer to be with others.

Now comes the most interesting one,PHYSICAL APPEARANCE(judging people based on their dress, hairstyle,body type etc).From the clip we can easily make out that characters like Gunjan and Nupur like wearing traditional clothes while the others are more fashionable and trendy.Each character in the show has a different dressing style to portray their personality.For example while Gunjan is simple, Dia(in a black dress) is flamboyant. Next is OCULESICS(Study of eye contact/behaviour).In most of the scenes you must have noticed people having eye contact with one another which indicates that they are more friendlier and sincere than those whose who avoid direct gaze.Eye contact is very important in communicating messages and maintain consistency.

CHRONEMICS studies the study of time.In the scene where the professor breaks the news to Nupur and Mayank about going to the competition together, they react by standing up but finally agree.They fall under the people who hold a Future work motivation orientation where they recognize the importance of meeting obligations no matter how difficult or uninteresting it is.Finally comes the studying the OBJECT LANGUAGE.The very fact that you can make out that it is staffroom or canteen is due to the position of chairs and their shape and size.In the staff room you must have noticed Nupur and Mayank sitting across each other.Now you must be wondering how does this come under objects.Well human structure is also important in communication.According to this cue ,the people who sit across each other means that they have a sense of competition between them.

It was interesting for me to spot the cues as I had never noticed them before.So even though there is a lot verbal communication taking place, without non verbal cues it becomes very difficult to put the message across..I intentionally did not put the subtitles because I wanted to know whether people who don't understand the language get the message or not.There can be misinterpretations according to the receiver's mental set.So put yourself in a similar position. Would you be able to understand a clip without subtitles if you didn't understand the language?So now comes the tricky question, which is more EFFECTIVE, verbal or non verbal communication?I think both complement each other and are inter dependent.Do let me know your views.